Don't Be Such a Poof!
by LittleMissWho
Summary: Sam and Alex catch Gene doing something very un-manly. How the hell's he gonna talk his way out of this one? GALEX. Rated T for Gene's trouser situation.


**A/N: A bit of Gene/Alex/Sam fluff. Gene and Alex are together, as I would expect them to be once they're reunited. Set in the Railway Arms (Heaven). No idea where this came from, but slightly worried that ideas like this are popping into my head. Enjoy! Please review :)**

* * *

As Chris and Ray had just started playing drunkenly with fire, Gene promptly excused himself from the table, without finishing his beer, and went in search of Alex and Sam.

Ray raised his eyebrows as the Guv left and whispered loudly to Chris "Bet he's goin' to get 'is leg over with Drake again."

Instead turning and clouting Ray over the head, Gene carried walking, smiling to himself, almost skipping up the stairs as he thought about what could happen later that night. He certainly felt like a jammy bastard.

Gene continued along the corridor, approaching Sam and Annie's open door, and poked his head round, hoping to find them doing something that he could tease them about. What he saw, however, was even more alarming.

"Tyler, are you puttin' on make-up?" Gene's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he beheld Sam, sitting at Annie's dressing table, rubbing something into his face.

"No, guv, I-"

"Didn't know you were into that sort o' thing."

"I'm not Guv, I-"

"Oh for God's sake Gene!" A very familiar voice came from the other side of the room. Gene spun round to see Annie and Alex sitting at the table drinking tea.

"Nice to see you too, love." He smiled wryly at her.

Alex rolled her eyes "He's just moisturising!"

"Mister what?" Gene's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Moisturisin' guv." Chipped in Annie "Makes your skin look younger and stuff."

"Well, you don't need to worry about that, Tyler, how old are you? Nine?"

Sam, Alex and Annie all rolled their eyes and chose to ignore their Guv's robust sense of humor. Alex sighed, placed her mug on the table and stood up.

"Come on, you great neanderthal, let's leave these two to it." She tried to suppress a grin, shaking her head mockingly at him.

Gene wiggled his eyebrows.

"Is that your posh, mouthy way of saying 'Gene, darling, take me to bed and ravish me'?"

Sam and Annie made disgusted groans from the other side of the room.

"Only if we leave now." Alex pulled him towards the door,fast.

"Why didn't ye just say so, you tart?" Gene scooped her up and charged down the corridor towards their bedroom, before anybody got an eyeful of the 'blunt but surprisingly effective' object now restricting his trouser space.

* * *

_The next day..._

_"_Found him yet?" Sam called to Alex.

Gene had stomped off half an hour ago with a 'headache' shortly after Alex and Sam had started reminiscing about the future and Chris and Ray had gotten into the 'drunken lunatic' stage of the evening. Phyllis, Shaz and Annie had had the sense to leave a lot earlier.

"No. I'm getting worried. It's not like him to walk away from a drink, unless I'm involved!"

Sam rolled his eyes fondly "Yes, thanks for the mental image Lex."

Alex pulled a face at him, ordering him to "Try the toilets again" before disappearing behind another door.

Sam made his way towards the end of the corridor, where the gents were. As he approached, the sound of muffled mumbling met his ears.

"_Found him."_ He hissed to Alex.

She was by his side almost instantly, and Sam pushed the door open a crack, signaling for her to be quiet.

And what a sight met their eyes.

Gene Hunt, the Guv, standing in front of the basin mirror, self consciously rubbing Alex's moisturizer onto his face. They both had to stuff their fists into their mouths to keep quiet, bodies shaking with laughter.

"Take that wrinkles, yer bastards." Gene mumbled to himself.

That was the final straw for Alex, who let out a huge snort, unable to control herself. She had no idea he could be this adorable. Gene pulled the door open immediately, causing Sam and Alex to fall onto the floor of the Gent's toilets in a laughing heap.

"I wondered where that had got to." Alex croaked between laughs, indicating to the bottle still clutched tightly in his hand.

He quickly dropped it on the floor, blushing beetroot red. "I wasn't... um... y'know... I was just..."

"I had no idea you were into that sort of thing, Guv." Sam taunted, chuckling darkly.

"Bugger bugger bugger bugger," Gene murmured as his girlfriend and best mate's laughter began to subside.

How the hell was he going to talk his way out of this one?


End file.
